The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo ban this article.
But because they can't show their face, they can't do jack.

The Patriots are a very forked up sandwich that has only two toppings, tomatoes and ranch dressing. if you find this, quickly blow it up so you aren't taken over by this delicious yet forktarded sandwich while a grue is staring directly at you.

They are also a secret cabal mafia organization. It is said that this organization controls Fox News and brainwashes everyone with their stupid programming. When killed, members of this mafia organization join the sports team of the same name. Oddly enough all the sports team members of the Patriots are dead and or zombies. The Patriots have been known to supply their sports team members with steroids manufactured with Chuck Norris' pubic sweat to keep their zombie bodies from disintegrating.

The Patriots have used their spooky zombie powers to win every super bowl, world series, Stanley cup, MLS cup, NBA finals,and oddly enough the Arena Bowl since 2025 through the year 3000.

Their Purpose Edit

It is said that the purpose of the patriots is to control the gobernment and take out the holidays and implement new ones. In the 90's they tried to change the tradition of Christmas with another holiday called Festivus(See Seinfeld for further information) which was celebrated the 23th of December, though some families were dragged to the tradition and left Christmas, the rest remain with their original holidays and made this one a failure.

Their Achievements Edit

Over the years the Patriots have controlled the potato production and currently own the Times Magazine, on 1960 they got some allies from the Kitten army and sent them as spies on the Cold War, where they got almost exterminated. It is said that they have a secret society formed by Oompa Loompas on the mid west of america.

In 2025, the patriots went 19-0 and freking killed the giants and jordan head was on the team and broke 21 of his bones being water boy. He hasn't recovered from slipping on a ladybug.

Known information Edit

The Patriots (愛国者達, Aikokusha-tachi?), also known as the La-li-lu-le-lo (らりるれろ, La-li-lu-le-lo?) are a secret cabal, revealed in Metal Gear Solid 2, that control the United States of America.[41] The group is initially revealed as an inner circle consisting of twelve people known as the The Wisemen's Committee (賢人会議, Kenjin Kaigi?). They initiate the construction of Arsenal Gear, and its A.I. GW, in order to censor the flow of digital information, and manipulate the events of the story through their trusted agent Revolver Ocelot. At the game's end, Snake acquires a disk containing the identities of the Wisemen's Committee and in the post-credits ending, Otacon examines the disk, stating that all members had been dead for about "a hundred years", and that one of them was a major supporter of Philanthropy.

They operate by controlling the flow of digital information.

Members Edit

George W. Bush was a former suck up member of the Patriots, but got expelled due to his ineptitude and instead was sent to be a saboteur of America, due to his lack of popularity among the citizens of America the votes had to be changed for it was the only way he could win. He is known by his code name Flakey Dumbass.

It is said that Chuck Norris discovered the Patriots and tried to fight against them, but was offered an amount of helpless civilians to Roundhouse Kick that he accepted to become their secret spy.

Even Batman is in on the Patriots. He sits as the Commander of Defense and makes sure that anyone who knows he is part of the Patriots will be jailed, tortured, and/or killed. The Joker was almost able to steal important information about the Patriots from Batman, but he was soon given a painful demonstration of all of Batman's Gadgets and then afterward he was beaten severely. This explains his much darker look for the movie The Dark Knight.

It is also worth noting, that the Patriots support pirates in the Great Pirate-Ninja War. Some members of the Patriots have even become secret agents and gone undercover into the Ninja ranks. Their primary objectives are to be crappy ninjas, steal information, and shoop the ninjas' various whoops.

Into the Spotlight Edit

A vidoegame director named Konami Hideato when smoking his pot, had a vision about this organization and included them on a sequel to the video game called Metal Gear Solid which was known just an attempt to get the gamers to see a 32 bit drama movie on a video game, he replaced Chuck Norris's character to avoid lawsuit with one of his previews character named Revolver Ocelot who was named this way for his fetish with revolvers.